Name on the Wall

I went to visit my son for the first time today. It was so wierd to see his name on the wall of the mausoleum that holds his little body. I just wanted to rip it open and grab him and hold him. It still feels so surreal, he would be 12 weeks old today. I cant believe it has been 2 weeks since I gave him a kiss. I never thought id have to bury my son, to read his name on a wall, to have only memories. I miss you my bug, I would give anything to have him back, anything to hold him again. My mom gave me a sweet surprise yesterday, an angel charm with his birthstone for me to always hold my bug close to my heart. I know that i will always carry him with me but it is hard because i dont want him in my heart, i want him in my arms.

My sweet bug you held my hand for a moment, but you will hold my heart forever.