Thursday, September 22, 2011

Trying to Escape the Pain

This is the hardest thing I will ever endure. Everywhere I go I feel my bug. We went on a mini vacation to my uncle's house which is in Middleofnowhere, USA and I still feel the hurt. I know i cant escape it, I was just hoping to leave some of it behind. It just hurts making memories without my bug. I know that he is always with me though, and i know he is sending me little messages from heaven to remind me that he loves me. Last night we were looking at the stars by the campfire and finally got enough service to hear a song on Pandora radio, the song played and then we lost service again. I know it was my bug by the song that played. Then today it was a rainy gloomy day all day and then tonight just at sunset, the rain stopped and i saw the most beautiful rainbow and sunset that i have seen in a long time, it was the bug drawing me a picture. It hurts so much because i want him here with me, in my arms, but when i see things like that it reminds me that he is still here, always with me, always loving me as much as i love him. I just wish I could leave the pain for one day. I thank god for the support i have had from friends and family because without it i would not be able to make it through this.

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