Wednesday, November 14, 2012


I wish I knew why, why do babies have to die? Why does a life so new and fresh have to end so soon? with so much lost, so much left to do. Not just my son,  I mean all infants nad children. Why do some parents lose their chidlren before they even take their first breath? everyone keeps telling me that there is a reason for everything, but what is that reason. I have faith in the lord, I have faith that he doesnt take children, like my bug, to be spiteful, or to cause pain, or to hurt those left behind. Those things happen of course, the death of a loved one at any age leaves behind heartache and tears, but I just wish that I knew the exact reason God chose my son. I often wonder if when my judgement day comes, when I meet the lord face to face, if I ask him this question, if I will finally get an answer. I wonder if even when my time on earth is over if I will have the explanation that my heart longs for. My son was so precious to me and I miss him so much, and I am not alone in this heartache, i have crossed paths with so many other women who have experienced the loss of a child, some who had to say goodbye before saying hello, some who had to sit by and pray for a miracle to heal their sick child, some like me who were blindsided by this grief, I just wish i knew the reason for it all, I just wish I knew God's logic, and why he chooses the children he does. I know that he has a reason, I know that he has a purpose, and that these children have a purpose, I just wish it wasnt such a mystery to those of us left behind.

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